I Crack Myself Up

Creating a cover idea is hard! It's not always easy to imagine how your baby will look in clothes it can't try on. In self-publishing it is your job as the author to micro-manage everything. When those adds say that YOU are in charge of ever part of the process, they mean it. They will not go anywhere without your say so. For some, that's awesome; more control! For me though, I like them to take some creative freedom just to see where it goes. On Obsidian Night they changed the font I had completely. At first I didn't like it because it looked very "gamer" like, but it grew on me.
The picture above is what I drew as an idea for the cover of Emerald Forest (Kind of looks like Baymax)
This one below was my draft cover of Obsidian Night. They thought the silhouette looked like an elephant and had to call me to ask what it was. It may not look so impressive... but that...

                                                           Turned into THIS!

Things don't always start out pretty, but that doesn't mean much. Change does exist and it has the potential to be amazing. If Emerald Forest make a transformation like Obsidian Night did, then I will have a good lookin' second book. Amber Falls cover is going to be difficult... but I'll paint another elephant and figure something out.
The lesson of this post is puberty is real.

With Love,
SKW

Moving Forward

   As I begin to embark on my next adventure, one more real and terrifying, I feel nostalgic for the coming years. Life is difficult at times, but the thought of my happy place across the sea keeps my spirits up. I can't help, but hope that one day I'll be over there with my little mud room and a library, maybe even an office for writing. I've fallen in love with the U.K. Ireland, Scotland, and Britain. I could live in any of them and be happy. It's been my plan B for years.
   As for college, I am terrified. I'm pursing a degree in Creative Writing and possibly business or teaching. Either way, I don't want to end up living in a box under a bridge. I'll be attending a place 5 hours from my home. I have lived in this town my entire life and am excited to get away. This is not where I want to live out my life, but the south has a way of keeping you. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place. I just have a bit of wanderlust that's all.
   Furthermore, no one I know will be attending this college which is also a nice thing. I get to meet a lot of new people and live in a climate where it snows. I'm hoping to study abroad in Ireland or Britain during one of my spring semesters.
   All in all it is a terrifying experience. Who knows if anything will become of my writing or my business degree? Who knows if I'll ever get my little stone house with my mud room and library? Who knows if I'll study abroad? All I know is that I have to try. If I don't try, I'll never know just how much I can accomplish.
   Times can be hard.
   Just never forget that you have the power to make it better.
   Always.

   Never give up.
   -SKW

Against My Better Judgment

As the title suggest I have managed to make a decision against my better judgement. I have begun a piece I have been contemplating for over a year and, while it may not seem such a surprise, I have put on hold The Dark Divides series. It is something I plan to return to, but as of right now I want to see what I can make of this new project. It's a new style and a new genre, but I'm excited to see where I can take it. The first paragraph actually got a 12 readability on the Hemingway App which excites me considering the highest I have gotten so far on Emerald Forest is an 8.
I don't want to give too much away about what my new project is, but I will say that I completely adore the novel Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. There are so many prevalent problems in our society today and I wish to capture them and show them to the world. It shall be like a horrible mirror.
I'm not quite sure if there is a lesson in this post or not. I suppose it could encourage the writer to step out of their usual comfort zones such as I have. I am attempting to write in third person while also attempting a dystopian novel, neither of which I have done before. I'm not sure whether it will work out or whether it will be as wonderful as I imagine, but that is the drug of the writer! The fantastic unknown. The risk. The hope. The DREAMS. My number one dream is to have a novel that is first on the NY Times Bestselling Authors list. My second dream is to be traditionally published.
However, I don't know if I, for certain, will achieve either of them, but it's worth a shot. Heck, I'm planning to major in creative writing. Nothing is certain about that degree. I could end up in a box under a bridge, but you know what? I'm shooting for it. If I don't make it, at least I can tell myself that I gave it my absolute best shot. Plus, writing a hit book isn't a dream with a time limit. My winning novel could be written when I'm 90. But who knows what would be, if I don't try?
There is the lesson. Risk it. If it's your dream, then go for it. You won't know if you can, if you don't try. Have faith; in yourself or other and you can go far.
I've procrastinated enough. I'm going to go write my novel.

Keep dreaming.
With Love,
SKW

Rewriting and Rejection

After half a year now, I am finally starting to rewrite Emerald Forest for the first time. I know what you're thinking. Wow, half a year? That's a long time filled with nothing. Well, you're wrong. I and a group of my friends edited the book when we read through it. It was helpful to me, considering I had forgotten half of the plot. It has an interesting plot, just a little... catawompus.
However, I am more than antsy to move on to Amber Falls, which, I may or may not have already started on... *cough*. Either way, I have returned to polish off my work and publish it as well as polish up Obsidian Night for I know I have made plot mistakes and I also know the writing could improve drastically. I'm determined to clean up the both of them into proud pieces of art.
Furthermore, I'll be entering college in the fall. I have not discovered yet whether that will give me more or less time to write, but I am excited to become a Creative Writing Major. But what will you do with that degree? Well, wonderful audience, I have absolutely no idea. I might just end up living under a bridge writing on soggy pieces of paper with mud. All I know is that writing is something I enjoy doing and I'm not half bad at it. Plus, I believe faith can get you a long way, be it faith in yourself or a deity. I happen to have faith in both and a long term goal of being a New York Times Bestselling author. I don't know if I'll achieve that goal but, hey, it's worth a shot.
On another topic, let us talk about failure. As you all don't know, I've applied to colleges. Two actually.. not very many, just my first and second choice. My second choice (a liberal arts college) accepted me and gave me a $14,000 Deans Scholarship. That's great, right? Well, I learned yesterday that my first choice rejected me. I had already sent in a payment to the liberal arts school to secure the scholarship so I don't know why the rejection of the first school hit so hard. Maybe it was going on social media and seeing others who had been accepted or maybe it was my family's belief that I would get in that made my stomach sink. I'm not one to get accepted to a lot as was seen when I tried to get a publisher for Obsidian Night. It didn't bother me then because I always new eventually someone would say yes. So I got over the college rejection. They didn't have what I wanted anyways. I don't want an English Major. I want a Creative Writing Major and that's how the rejection has worked out for the best.
Therefore, the lesson in this post is that sometimes rejection isn't to be seen as the end. Sometimes rejection is for the better. It sends you in a different direction, mixes up the plan, and gives you a fresh way to look at things. We don't want it, but sometimes it isn't what we want. It's what is best for us.

Savor the Rejection.

With Love,
SKW

The Right Thing to Say

Well... Here's the topic of today— I never say the right things. Most of the time I have no idea what to say, because nothing sounds right.
People like to come to me and tell me their troubles and, most of the time, I want to reply "I'm sorry" (because I am sorry that that happened to them) or "It'll be okay" (because in the end, it most likely will be). The problem is saying "It'll be okay" would make me angry if anyone ever said it to me when I am mad or upset, therefore it makes me not want to say it out of fear people get mad just like me. Along with that is the meaningless "I'm sorry" statement, because a lot of the time it just sounds like you don't give a crap. It's difficult.
Furthermore, I have a hard time sympathizing with people. I'm more empathetic especially with anger. It's not an easy thing for me, but I guess I'm the type of person that draws a lot of people to trust me enough to tell me what's going on in their life. Don't get me wrong. I don't particularly hate that people feel comfortable talking to me. I just hate that I'm not good at consolation through words. I'd rather do some shopping therapy.
When my friends grandmother died, it was easier just buying her a coffee and siting silently in a Starbucks then trying to push my beliefs on her or bully her into not feeling anything. (Yeah... maybe I have issues). I could write something sentimental as well. My vocal chords apparently have a pride problem.
Oh and let's get personal for a minute. As you could probably guess, I'm a pretty independent person. I've learned to build whatever I need built and do whatever I need done. I recently just got into the longest relationship I've ever been in with the best guy ever. He told me he loves me. (Trust me this has to do with the topic). Anyways, I didn't say it back. Not because I don't love him. It's not that at all. It's just... I have a problem with people leaving and I need more time. I need more time than others for a lot of things. I'm not one of those people where I say I need time and it never happens, I just... it takes me longer to get used to things. You know? To get used to guy actually staying around. To get used to a guy actually wanting to hangout with me. It's different. It hasn't happened before and it's going to take time for me to completely let go of everything. (Pride and such). It applies to the subject because I didn't say the right thing. But one day I will.
The lesson of this post is that the right words come eventually, not right away. When your heart, head, and mouth, align, the right words begin to spill out. For some, it's easy. For others, it'll take some time to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable and that's okay. Everything will be okay.

Stay open to things.

With love,
SKW

Encouragement

I was scrolling through the free On-Demand movies (because I'm cheap) and came across old Disney Channel movies. Since I hadn't seen it in a long time, I decided to watch Read it and Weep. For those of you who don't know, this movie is about a freshman girl in high school accidentally publishing her diary and getting nation-wide recognition for it, while also managing to destroy her social life. Anyways, the  movie depressed me. It's unrealistic, but it hurts to think that after one shot at something this character was able to get a publishing deal and a publicist. All while I'm here with my self-published book feeling a tad ashamed of myself. I mean, come on, anyone can self-publish a book. A person could be illiterate and still get their book self-published. It doesn't matter how well you write, because you are literally paying the people to publish your work. Depressing, right?
Well, I walk up stairs dejected at thinking all of this through and turn on the radio. It's tuned in to Kicks 99.5 (a country station) and what comes out of the speakers catches my attention. Maddie and Tae are singing their song Fly (it doesn't matter if you've heard it or not because I'm about to put the lyrics up). And after that horrible feeling of failure this is what I hear—

Baby blue staring in the window
Pane just counting drops of rain
Wondering if she's got the guts to
Take it.
Running down her dream in a dirty
dress, now her heart's a mess
Praying she will find a way to make it.

So keep on climbing, though the
Ground might shake
Just keep on reaching though the 
Limb might break
We've come this far. don't you be
Scared now
Cause you can learn to fly on the
Way down.

Call it what you want. Call it coincidence or call it divine intervention. Heck, call it encouragement from the Fates or nothing at all. The only thing I know for sure is that I never want to stop writing. I just want to get to that level of skill that will allow me to accomplish tradition publishing. I don't care if I succeed economically. My only goal is to be good enough, to write good enough, to be that person that deserves what they get. No, I don't want it to come without a struggle, but the fight to get there is a draining one that leaves me with many unanswered questions. This is an up hill battle and I'm at the bottom.
Yes, I'll complain and whine and rant about how unfair it seems sometimes, but...in a way... I don't think I would have it any different. It's teaching me things that I don't think every author gets taught. It's teaching me patience, building me a back bone, and showing me how to be my own teacher. This is an experience I wish more authors went through.

Stay strong, my loves, the sun rises just before the dawn.
SKW 

Passenger and Coffee

Sometimes it's hard to keep up. I applaud those writers/readers who find time to write/read. This year is starting off like a race. I can't seem to get ahead, only manage to barely keep up. I have finished Emerald Forest in the sense that the story is complete, as for the revising and editing... well... Like I said, I'm struggling with time.
I'm prouder of this book than I am of Obsidian Night. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my books to death, but it is easy to see my writing improving from the first book to the second. I have found that, though I'm busy, taking time to sit in my room with the lights off with a candle lit and Passenger singing in the background with a cup of coffee beside me is like coming home. No feeling can replace that of doing something that puts you back into your element. There is nothing like it. All of my stress and worries disappears the longer I type, the longer I listen, the longer I drink coffee. Life shouldn't have to be one big ball of stress and worry, deadlines and due dates. Life should be that feeling of coming home to something. When I open my laptop and see Emerald Forest or Amber Falls waiting to be written, it's a lovely feeling. All of the characters are frozen in time, waiting to move on with their story as I'm ready to move on with mine.
This is why I started writing. Escape. Family life was bad and I wanted somewhere else to go, so I left and dove into a story that fulfilled my desires. School stresses me, so I write to relax, to laugh and squeal and cry over my characters to avoid thinking of all the things that are waiting to be done.
And I know the stress of a writer! I know every other author's advice is to spend ALL of your time reading or ALL of your time writing, but that isn't an option. If I could, maybe I would, but the point of being an author is write down the secrets of life. What you see, hear, smell, experience! Reading can't teach you how to love or fight or FEEL. Reading can't make you experience things in real life for yourself. Yes, I'll be that one author that goes against EVERYTHING ANYONE has ever told you. But, in my opinion, it's a good thing to make your own progress, to write your own success story. Sure, reading and writing 24/7 may make someone famous, but it's not the secret of writing. There is no secret except for these few:
1) LIVE!
2) Question. Question everything. Question these rules! Question why the heck you have to read every minute of every day and be the absolute best in literature in school.
3) Do what you like. Like writing? Write.
4) Don't compare. Don't compare yourself to other authors. Don't compare your work to theirs. How will you ever stand out if you become the cliche over used everyday somebody? Be whoever you're comfortable being. Write whatever the heck you want! Even if your parents discourage it. You know what writing is? Art. So don't you ever let anyone tell you how to write your Mona Lisa.
5) Take it or leave it. These aren't the secrets. I don't control you. Do whatever the heck works. Print off these "secrets" and rip them up. Because YOU do it how YOU do it.
End of my rant. =)

Stay Rebellious
SKW