Rewriting and Rejection

After half a year now, I am finally starting to rewrite Emerald Forest for the first time. I know what you're thinking. Wow, half a year? That's a long time filled with nothing. Well, you're wrong. I and a group of my friends edited the book when we read through it. It was helpful to me, considering I had forgotten half of the plot. It has an interesting plot, just a little... catawompus.
However, I am more than antsy to move on to Amber Falls, which, I may or may not have already started on... *cough*. Either way, I have returned to polish off my work and publish it as well as polish up Obsidian Night for I know I have made plot mistakes and I also know the writing could improve drastically. I'm determined to clean up the both of them into proud pieces of art.
Furthermore, I'll be entering college in the fall. I have not discovered yet whether that will give me more or less time to write, but I am excited to become a Creative Writing Major. But what will you do with that degree? Well, wonderful audience, I have absolutely no idea. I might just end up living under a bridge writing on soggy pieces of paper with mud. All I know is that writing is something I enjoy doing and I'm not half bad at it. Plus, I believe faith can get you a long way, be it faith in yourself or a deity. I happen to have faith in both and a long term goal of being a New York Times Bestselling author. I don't know if I'll achieve that goal but, hey, it's worth a shot.
On another topic, let us talk about failure. As you all don't know, I've applied to colleges. Two actually.. not very many, just my first and second choice. My second choice (a liberal arts college) accepted me and gave me a $14,000 Deans Scholarship. That's great, right? Well, I learned yesterday that my first choice rejected me. I had already sent in a payment to the liberal arts school to secure the scholarship so I don't know why the rejection of the first school hit so hard. Maybe it was going on social media and seeing others who had been accepted or maybe it was my family's belief that I would get in that made my stomach sink. I'm not one to get accepted to a lot as was seen when I tried to get a publisher for Obsidian Night. It didn't bother me then because I always new eventually someone would say yes. So I got over the college rejection. They didn't have what I wanted anyways. I don't want an English Major. I want a Creative Writing Major and that's how the rejection has worked out for the best.
Therefore, the lesson in this post is that sometimes rejection isn't to be seen as the end. Sometimes rejection is for the better. It sends you in a different direction, mixes up the plan, and gives you a fresh way to look at things. We don't want it, but sometimes it isn't what we want. It's what is best for us.

Savor the Rejection.

With Love,
SKW

The Right Thing to Say

Well... Here's the topic of today— I never say the right things. Most of the time I have no idea what to say, because nothing sounds right.
People like to come to me and tell me their troubles and, most of the time, I want to reply "I'm sorry" (because I am sorry that that happened to them) or "It'll be okay" (because in the end, it most likely will be). The problem is saying "It'll be okay" would make me angry if anyone ever said it to me when I am mad or upset, therefore it makes me not want to say it out of fear people get mad just like me. Along with that is the meaningless "I'm sorry" statement, because a lot of the time it just sounds like you don't give a crap. It's difficult.
Furthermore, I have a hard time sympathizing with people. I'm more empathetic especially with anger. It's not an easy thing for me, but I guess I'm the type of person that draws a lot of people to trust me enough to tell me what's going on in their life. Don't get me wrong. I don't particularly hate that people feel comfortable talking to me. I just hate that I'm not good at consolation through words. I'd rather do some shopping therapy.
When my friends grandmother died, it was easier just buying her a coffee and siting silently in a Starbucks then trying to push my beliefs on her or bully her into not feeling anything. (Yeah... maybe I have issues). I could write something sentimental as well. My vocal chords apparently have a pride problem.
Oh and let's get personal for a minute. As you could probably guess, I'm a pretty independent person. I've learned to build whatever I need built and do whatever I need done. I recently just got into the longest relationship I've ever been in with the best guy ever. He told me he loves me. (Trust me this has to do with the topic). Anyways, I didn't say it back. Not because I don't love him. It's not that at all. It's just... I have a problem with people leaving and I need more time. I need more time than others for a lot of things. I'm not one of those people where I say I need time and it never happens, I just... it takes me longer to get used to things. You know? To get used to guy actually staying around. To get used to a guy actually wanting to hangout with me. It's different. It hasn't happened before and it's going to take time for me to completely let go of everything. (Pride and such). It applies to the subject because I didn't say the right thing. But one day I will.
The lesson of this post is that the right words come eventually, not right away. When your heart, head, and mouth, align, the right words begin to spill out. For some, it's easy. For others, it'll take some time to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable and that's okay. Everything will be okay.

Stay open to things.

With love,
SKW

Encouragement

I was scrolling through the free On-Demand movies (because I'm cheap) and came across old Disney Channel movies. Since I hadn't seen it in a long time, I decided to watch Read it and Weep. For those of you who don't know, this movie is about a freshman girl in high school accidentally publishing her diary and getting nation-wide recognition for it, while also managing to destroy her social life. Anyways, the  movie depressed me. It's unrealistic, but it hurts to think that after one shot at something this character was able to get a publishing deal and a publicist. All while I'm here with my self-published book feeling a tad ashamed of myself. I mean, come on, anyone can self-publish a book. A person could be illiterate and still get their book self-published. It doesn't matter how well you write, because you are literally paying the people to publish your work. Depressing, right?
Well, I walk up stairs dejected at thinking all of this through and turn on the radio. It's tuned in to Kicks 99.5 (a country station) and what comes out of the speakers catches my attention. Maddie and Tae are singing their song Fly (it doesn't matter if you've heard it or not because I'm about to put the lyrics up). And after that horrible feeling of failure this is what I hear—

Baby blue staring in the window
Pane just counting drops of rain
Wondering if she's got the guts to
Take it.
Running down her dream in a dirty
dress, now her heart's a mess
Praying she will find a way to make it.

So keep on climbing, though the
Ground might shake
Just keep on reaching though the 
Limb might break
We've come this far. don't you be
Scared now
Cause you can learn to fly on the
Way down.

Call it what you want. Call it coincidence or call it divine intervention. Heck, call it encouragement from the Fates or nothing at all. The only thing I know for sure is that I never want to stop writing. I just want to get to that level of skill that will allow me to accomplish tradition publishing. I don't care if I succeed economically. My only goal is to be good enough, to write good enough, to be that person that deserves what they get. No, I don't want it to come without a struggle, but the fight to get there is a draining one that leaves me with many unanswered questions. This is an up hill battle and I'm at the bottom.
Yes, I'll complain and whine and rant about how unfair it seems sometimes, but...in a way... I don't think I would have it any different. It's teaching me things that I don't think every author gets taught. It's teaching me patience, building me a back bone, and showing me how to be my own teacher. This is an experience I wish more authors went through.

Stay strong, my loves, the sun rises just before the dawn.
SKW 

Passenger and Coffee

Sometimes it's hard to keep up. I applaud those writers/readers who find time to write/read. This year is starting off like a race. I can't seem to get ahead, only manage to barely keep up. I have finished Emerald Forest in the sense that the story is complete, as for the revising and editing... well... Like I said, I'm struggling with time.
I'm prouder of this book than I am of Obsidian Night. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my books to death, but it is easy to see my writing improving from the first book to the second. I have found that, though I'm busy, taking time to sit in my room with the lights off with a candle lit and Passenger singing in the background with a cup of coffee beside me is like coming home. No feeling can replace that of doing something that puts you back into your element. There is nothing like it. All of my stress and worries disappears the longer I type, the longer I listen, the longer I drink coffee. Life shouldn't have to be one big ball of stress and worry, deadlines and due dates. Life should be that feeling of coming home to something. When I open my laptop and see Emerald Forest or Amber Falls waiting to be written, it's a lovely feeling. All of the characters are frozen in time, waiting to move on with their story as I'm ready to move on with mine.
This is why I started writing. Escape. Family life was bad and I wanted somewhere else to go, so I left and dove into a story that fulfilled my desires. School stresses me, so I write to relax, to laugh and squeal and cry over my characters to avoid thinking of all the things that are waiting to be done.
And I know the stress of a writer! I know every other author's advice is to spend ALL of your time reading or ALL of your time writing, but that isn't an option. If I could, maybe I would, but the point of being an author is write down the secrets of life. What you see, hear, smell, experience! Reading can't teach you how to love or fight or FEEL. Reading can't make you experience things in real life for yourself. Yes, I'll be that one author that goes against EVERYTHING ANYONE has ever told you. But, in my opinion, it's a good thing to make your own progress, to write your own success story. Sure, reading and writing 24/7 may make someone famous, but it's not the secret of writing. There is no secret except for these few:
1) LIVE!
2) Question. Question everything. Question these rules! Question why the heck you have to read every minute of every day and be the absolute best in literature in school.
3) Do what you like. Like writing? Write.
4) Don't compare. Don't compare yourself to other authors. Don't compare your work to theirs. How will you ever stand out if you become the cliche over used everyday somebody? Be whoever you're comfortable being. Write whatever the heck you want! Even if your parents discourage it. You know what writing is? Art. So don't you ever let anyone tell you how to write your Mona Lisa.
5) Take it or leave it. These aren't the secrets. I don't control you. Do whatever the heck works. Print off these "secrets" and rip them up. Because YOU do it how YOU do it.
End of my rant. =)

Stay Rebellious
SKW

Book Update Because I Can

This summer as been crazy busy! I've only had up to four days between trips and more than enough writers block. My only goal for this summer was to finish Emerald Forest, but it seems never ending, and to top that off, I still have to edit and revise the entire thing. I am so glad I have some help with that, but really only I can revise it the way I want it (excluding some help from my Brain). Anyways I am back on track!
I have 4 new CDs and a real determination to avoid the beach today, therefore it gives me renewed creative thought. Haha! Right! Yeah, no....I'm fighting the writers block. It's just this one scene. When I get past it, then I should be able to continue on without a problem. And this is just another way to avoid writing. Hehe.
Word Count: 88,053
Page Count: 224
Close to the End: It never seems like it.

Keep your chins up Duckies!
With Love, SKW
P.S. In the mean time enjoy this GIF of an awesome quote.

Only if you Wanna but you don't Gotta

I wanted to post this real fast. If any of you want to get in touch with me, my email is authora.m.luther@gmail.com
You can write inquiries. Questions. Nicely put comments and concerns. I'm really a decent person, so if you just want to talk that's fine as well. But I prefer you use this email for anything pertaining to writing or my book or me.
Thanks doll faces!
With Love, SKW or A. M. Luther haha

There and Back

I have returned from my trip to the U.K. in one piece, which is surprising. I hit my head on almost everything over there. I hit my head on Blarney Castle, on the bus, on a church. On MANY things. And no, it did not knock any sense into me.
On my trip, I encountered many interesting parts of history that are not so far behind us. The castles still protect, the palaces still rule, and the churches still preach. There was stories of violence and valor, friendship and treachery. It was all quite interesting and has helped build a world for a future setting while giving stories that might one day be a plot line.
There are two very important things this trip has taught me above all others: 1-How to eat fast. 2-How to be alone while surrounded by people. Now the whole "eating fast" thing is hard for me. I can make one cup of coffee last four hours. So, you can imagine my discomfort when I had to chug half a Starbucks before going into Mary Kings Close. I felt sick.
Now on to the "how to be alone while surrounded by people" bit. It's not that I felt left out, but that I would have preferred to be on my own rather than forced on to people who obviously had no interest in me. It was difficult. I felt like I couldn't speak freely, because no one cared to listen or took what I said the wrong way. It got frustrating and I began to miss writing more and more. I missed my alone time and my thoughts. But I did survive the two weeks there! Even though I didn't think I would at times.
The point of this post is to admit, that it's okay to not be a socialite, to WANT to be alone because it's better than FEELING alone. Not all writers or artists need to be people persons. It's alright to be an introvert or feel awkward in social situations. Don't pay attention to misplaced importance on being at the center of conversations or events. Everyone functions differently. Everyone's creative process is different.

Be free to be your own person.

With Love, SKW