The Right Thing to Say

Well... Here's the topic of today— I never say the right things. Most of the time I have no idea what to say, because nothing sounds right.
People like to come to me and tell me their troubles and, most of the time, I want to reply "I'm sorry" (because I am sorry that that happened to them) or "It'll be okay" (because in the end, it most likely will be). The problem is saying "It'll be okay" would make me angry if anyone ever said it to me when I am mad or upset, therefore it makes me not want to say it out of fear people get mad just like me. Along with that is the meaningless "I'm sorry" statement, because a lot of the time it just sounds like you don't give a crap. It's difficult.
Furthermore, I have a hard time sympathizing with people. I'm more empathetic especially with anger. It's not an easy thing for me, but I guess I'm the type of person that draws a lot of people to trust me enough to tell me what's going on in their life. Don't get me wrong. I don't particularly hate that people feel comfortable talking to me. I just hate that I'm not good at consolation through words. I'd rather do some shopping therapy.
When my friends grandmother died, it was easier just buying her a coffee and siting silently in a Starbucks then trying to push my beliefs on her or bully her into not feeling anything. (Yeah... maybe I have issues). I could write something sentimental as well. My vocal chords apparently have a pride problem.
Oh and let's get personal for a minute. As you could probably guess, I'm a pretty independent person. I've learned to build whatever I need built and do whatever I need done. I recently just got into the longest relationship I've ever been in with the best guy ever. He told me he loves me. (Trust me this has to do with the topic). Anyways, I didn't say it back. Not because I don't love him. It's not that at all. It's just... I have a problem with people leaving and I need more time. I need more time than others for a lot of things. I'm not one of those people where I say I need time and it never happens, I just... it takes me longer to get used to things. You know? To get used to guy actually staying around. To get used to a guy actually wanting to hangout with me. It's different. It hasn't happened before and it's going to take time for me to completely let go of everything. (Pride and such). It applies to the subject because I didn't say the right thing. But one day I will.
The lesson of this post is that the right words come eventually, not right away. When your heart, head, and mouth, align, the right words begin to spill out. For some, it's easy. For others, it'll take some time to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable and that's okay. Everything will be okay.

Stay open to things.

With love,
SKW

Encouragement

I was scrolling through the free On-Demand movies (because I'm cheap) and came across old Disney Channel movies. Since I hadn't seen it in a long time, I decided to watch Read it and Weep. For those of you who don't know, this movie is about a freshman girl in high school accidentally publishing her diary and getting nation-wide recognition for it, while also managing to destroy her social life. Anyways, the  movie depressed me. It's unrealistic, but it hurts to think that after one shot at something this character was able to get a publishing deal and a publicist. All while I'm here with my self-published book feeling a tad ashamed of myself. I mean, come on, anyone can self-publish a book. A person could be illiterate and still get their book self-published. It doesn't matter how well you write, because you are literally paying the people to publish your work. Depressing, right?
Well, I walk up stairs dejected at thinking all of this through and turn on the radio. It's tuned in to Kicks 99.5 (a country station) and what comes out of the speakers catches my attention. Maddie and Tae are singing their song Fly (it doesn't matter if you've heard it or not because I'm about to put the lyrics up). And after that horrible feeling of failure this is what I hear—

Baby blue staring in the window
Pane just counting drops of rain
Wondering if she's got the guts to
Take it.
Running down her dream in a dirty
dress, now her heart's a mess
Praying she will find a way to make it.

So keep on climbing, though the
Ground might shake
Just keep on reaching though the 
Limb might break
We've come this far. don't you be
Scared now
Cause you can learn to fly on the
Way down.

Call it what you want. Call it coincidence or call it divine intervention. Heck, call it encouragement from the Fates or nothing at all. The only thing I know for sure is that I never want to stop writing. I just want to get to that level of skill that will allow me to accomplish tradition publishing. I don't care if I succeed economically. My only goal is to be good enough, to write good enough, to be that person that deserves what they get. No, I don't want it to come without a struggle, but the fight to get there is a draining one that leaves me with many unanswered questions. This is an up hill battle and I'm at the bottom.
Yes, I'll complain and whine and rant about how unfair it seems sometimes, but...in a way... I don't think I would have it any different. It's teaching me things that I don't think every author gets taught. It's teaching me patience, building me a back bone, and showing me how to be my own teacher. This is an experience I wish more authors went through.

Stay strong, my loves, the sun rises just before the dawn.
SKW 

Passenger and Coffee

Sometimes it's hard to keep up. I applaud those writers/readers who find time to write/read. This year is starting off like a race. I can't seem to get ahead, only manage to barely keep up. I have finished Emerald Forest in the sense that the story is complete, as for the revising and editing... well... Like I said, I'm struggling with time.
I'm prouder of this book than I am of Obsidian Night. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my books to death, but it is easy to see my writing improving from the first book to the second. I have found that, though I'm busy, taking time to sit in my room with the lights off with a candle lit and Passenger singing in the background with a cup of coffee beside me is like coming home. No feeling can replace that of doing something that puts you back into your element. There is nothing like it. All of my stress and worries disappears the longer I type, the longer I listen, the longer I drink coffee. Life shouldn't have to be one big ball of stress and worry, deadlines and due dates. Life should be that feeling of coming home to something. When I open my laptop and see Emerald Forest or Amber Falls waiting to be written, it's a lovely feeling. All of the characters are frozen in time, waiting to move on with their story as I'm ready to move on with mine.
This is why I started writing. Escape. Family life was bad and I wanted somewhere else to go, so I left and dove into a story that fulfilled my desires. School stresses me, so I write to relax, to laugh and squeal and cry over my characters to avoid thinking of all the things that are waiting to be done.
And I know the stress of a writer! I know every other author's advice is to spend ALL of your time reading or ALL of your time writing, but that isn't an option. If I could, maybe I would, but the point of being an author is write down the secrets of life. What you see, hear, smell, experience! Reading can't teach you how to love or fight or FEEL. Reading can't make you experience things in real life for yourself. Yes, I'll be that one author that goes against EVERYTHING ANYONE has ever told you. But, in my opinion, it's a good thing to make your own progress, to write your own success story. Sure, reading and writing 24/7 may make someone famous, but it's not the secret of writing. There is no secret except for these few:
1) LIVE!
2) Question. Question everything. Question these rules! Question why the heck you have to read every minute of every day and be the absolute best in literature in school.
3) Do what you like. Like writing? Write.
4) Don't compare. Don't compare yourself to other authors. Don't compare your work to theirs. How will you ever stand out if you become the cliche over used everyday somebody? Be whoever you're comfortable being. Write whatever the heck you want! Even if your parents discourage it. You know what writing is? Art. So don't you ever let anyone tell you how to write your Mona Lisa.
5) Take it or leave it. These aren't the secrets. I don't control you. Do whatever the heck works. Print off these "secrets" and rip them up. Because YOU do it how YOU do it.
End of my rant. =)

Stay Rebellious
SKW

Book Update Because I Can

This summer as been crazy busy! I've only had up to four days between trips and more than enough writers block. My only goal for this summer was to finish Emerald Forest, but it seems never ending, and to top that off, I still have to edit and revise the entire thing. I am so glad I have some help with that, but really only I can revise it the way I want it (excluding some help from my Brain). Anyways I am back on track!
I have 4 new CDs and a real determination to avoid the beach today, therefore it gives me renewed creative thought. Haha! Right! Yeah, no....I'm fighting the writers block. It's just this one scene. When I get past it, then I should be able to continue on without a problem. And this is just another way to avoid writing. Hehe.
Word Count: 88,053
Page Count: 224
Close to the End: It never seems like it.

Keep your chins up Duckies!
With Love, SKW
P.S. In the mean time enjoy this GIF of an awesome quote.

Only if you Wanna but you don't Gotta

I wanted to post this real fast. If any of you want to get in touch with me, my email is authora.m.luther@gmail.com
You can write inquiries. Questions. Nicely put comments and concerns. I'm really a decent person, so if you just want to talk that's fine as well. But I prefer you use this email for anything pertaining to writing or my book or me.
Thanks doll faces!
With Love, SKW or A. M. Luther haha

There and Back

I have returned from my trip to the U.K. in one piece, which is surprising. I hit my head on almost everything over there. I hit my head on Blarney Castle, on the bus, on a church. On MANY things. And no, it did not knock any sense into me.
On my trip, I encountered many interesting parts of history that are not so far behind us. The castles still protect, the palaces still rule, and the churches still preach. There was stories of violence and valor, friendship and treachery. It was all quite interesting and has helped build a world for a future setting while giving stories that might one day be a plot line.
There are two very important things this trip has taught me above all others: 1-How to eat fast. 2-How to be alone while surrounded by people. Now the whole "eating fast" thing is hard for me. I can make one cup of coffee last four hours. So, you can imagine my discomfort when I had to chug half a Starbucks before going into Mary Kings Close. I felt sick.
Now on to the "how to be alone while surrounded by people" bit. It's not that I felt left out, but that I would have preferred to be on my own rather than forced on to people who obviously had no interest in me. It was difficult. I felt like I couldn't speak freely, because no one cared to listen or took what I said the wrong way. It got frustrating and I began to miss writing more and more. I missed my alone time and my thoughts. But I did survive the two weeks there! Even though I didn't think I would at times.
The point of this post is to admit, that it's okay to not be a socialite, to WANT to be alone because it's better than FEELING alone. Not all writers or artists need to be people persons. It's alright to be an introvert or feel awkward in social situations. Don't pay attention to misplaced importance on being at the center of conversations or events. Everyone functions differently. Everyone's creative process is different.

Be free to be your own person.

With Love, SKW

Stress Gives Me Pimples

The count down has begun until I leave for the UK June 1st. Things here are quiet. Parents are at work. Siblings are always gone and I've got no where to go until Monday. It gets sort of dull just sitting around the house with the dog watching Botched. But as the days bleed away before the trip, I feel my stomach tightening at the thought of getting on a plane for Ireland. My biggest worry is the credit card situation. What if it doesn't work? My teachers already said they aren't helping. Everyone else is worried about me losing the card or the passport, while I'm worried about what I WON'T have. *sigh* Always a pessimist.
As an update on Emerald Forest I will say that it is longer than I originally planned it to be. As of right now it is 84,000 words, give a hundred or so. I can't say that I'm not excited for its end (mostly because of the reactions I hope to elicit from people). But I am also excited for the third book, Amber Falls. Shane will get a lot more face time and his past will be opened up like a large, grotesque blister. Poor thing. I'll keep ya'll updated on that.
As of my writer friend, she is actually coming along quite well with her novel. I have full belief that when she's done she'll get traditionally published, because of how unique the plot line is (*cough* Team Tate *cough*).
I have to add that it is difficult doing what we're doing at our age. There's just too much to fit into one day. We have school and family and events. We have the struggle between reading or writing every day, because there's almost never time for both. I have a dog that climbs across my laptop whenever I whip it out and impedes my writing. Plus, vacations that stress us out (hey, it's summer and I love winter). But I will promise, this book will be out before school starts again. I'll be disappointed in myself if it isn't.
Passenger and Gabrielle Aplin calm me down. They have such beautiful voices.

Be calm and carry on.

With Love, SKW

Time Flies And I'm Trying To Catch Up

Emerald Forest is coming to it's end. I have 8,000 words to go or so I believe. It might end up being more considering I feel like I still have a lot of plot to write. All in all, I am excited. So many people are looking forward to this book and I can't wait to hear the tortured comments about the ending. Hehehe =D  They will, of course, begin to beg for the third book which is going to be an all new experience for me and my readers. I look forward to it.
But what this post/rant is really supposed to be about is the time shortage. I have exactly 35 days to finish the entire first draft of Emerald Forest. Why, my invisible audience may ask? What a wonderful question! It's because I won Nanowrimo and my five free books code expires June 1st which is the day I leave for the UK. I enjoy getting those, because it acts as a manuscript. This way I can pass out my book to my friends and they can help me correct it for the final publish ready copy. It's harder staring at a computer screen trying to find problems. And I have learned from my mistakes. Self-editing is a failure. I cannot catch my problems because I wrote it and I'll skip over the errors. This year I have three people volunteering to help me edit (only because they want an advance copy to read).
I'm super worried about the dead line though. These next few weeks are filled with projects and tests and I only really get time to write on the weekends when I'm trying to catch up on my word count. Yesterday I wrote around 1,300 words? On a good working day I can manage around 2,000, but I only have about 3 weekends left. I'm going to need to cram. Cram in school. Cram in writing. Talk about stress. I'm worried I won't make it.

Let's see... what is the lesson of this post...
How about a quote instead?

"I don't think there is any truth. There are only points of view" - Ginsberg

Good enough, right? =)

With Love, SKW

Encouragement is Food for the Writer

Around August of last year a few of my teachers wanted to read my book, so two of them bought a copy and one... kind of borrowed one...but hasn't given it back or mentioned it since. Anyways back to the point that I will eventually make. I brought a copy of my book to school today to reread some parts so as not to screw up the second installment and I guess it jogged my science teachers (she bought the book) memory, because she said, "I read your book! It was WONDERFUL!" (she gets enthusiastic sometimes and enunciates some words). She said she could not wait for the second installment... before asking if there WAS a second installment. And there is! But it just surprises me, because last week my great aunt Linda (Aunt? Great aunt? She's my grandfather's sister) brought up the subject as well. She was just as enthusiastic about it and mention another woman she knew that wrote a book and it was about her life relating to the Bible. Aunt Linda continued to say, "There are feel good books, like hers, and then there are thrilling, exciting books like yours. I personally kind of preferred the thrill."
It is encouraging to me as a writer and as a young adult to see even the fewest of people excited for my trilogy. I keep telling my mom that they're probably just being nice, but the more people who comment nice things, the more belief I have that maybe it's not so bad.
Another thing I was happy about was when I was talking to my Aunt Linda she asked how I come up with the story.
"Do you just look at people and places, just how-how do you come up with this stuff?"
If you're a fellow writer, you know how hard it is to explain yourself without sounding weird or creepy. Some people I DO look at and think, wow, that guy would be a hot fictional character. But mostly it's the "how" and the "what if" that inspire the written word. The questions are the driving force behind every story. Then again, people watching inspires me too. Haha. Way to be creepy, huh?
But I do have to give credit where it is do... Writing is a hard thing to keep up and when people get excited about your writing, it gets you excited as well.
So if you are a fellow author:
Come on! You can get it done! If you think no one will read it, you're wrong! Because I want to read it.
If you're a pedestrian:
Encourage the written word! Always compliment! If you want them to work harder, critique, but do it in a complimental way.
Together... we got this guys.

With Love, SKW

On the Way to the End

Emerald Forest is coming along swimmingly. I am 70,000 words in and I hope to get to about 85,000. I've learned 80,000 and above is a good word count aim for people who want a small to medium sized novel. It depends the dimensions of the actual book.
Writing is a huge struggle especially at this time in my life. School takes priority and after 8 hours of it and homework, I'm too tired to get on my laptop for the 30 minutes before bed. If I cared to have a life, that would take up more time as well. Writing is a constant struggle with time and brain activity and location. I often write easier when I'm supposed to be doing something or I'm someplace different than my room.
Another struggle is finding time to read. It is a battle every day to choose between whether I should read during my free time or write. Both are important and necessary for the other. I've fallen back on reading, which is terrible since I have a stack of  new books. School is for reading. Nights are for writing. And summer is for publishing and planning for the third novel.
I sometimes get bitter, because I'm stuck finishing this trilogy while other ideas keep popping up. I want to start on them or write both at once, but I can't. I have a one track mind and I know if I start on another one while trying to finish this series then I will neglect it. Have no fear though. The Dark Divides will see its end. And in the mean time maybe I can find a treat for yall and get my friend done with her novel ;)
If you guys ever want to talk, I am always up for a discussion. I just enjoy spilling my entire world to you guys and don't want to sound too much like a whiner. =)

Stay motivated.

With Love, SKW

A Writer's /Introverts Problems

People found out yet AGAIN in another of my classes that I have written a book. The hard part about being a writer (or for me) is that you're proud of your book, but you don't like discussing it. It was the very end of class and it became a class discussion. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm just self-conscious. I don't want to sound like a self-absorbed or arrogant person by bringing it up. I am somewhat ashamed of how it was published because to me self-publishing seems like cheating. Also, one of the main questions people ask is "how much have you made". Sometimes I want to respond with "Oh yeah! Writing is a get rich quick career move! You should try it and tell me how it goes". I don't do this for the money. People who write would be CRAZY to think they can do it for the sole purpose of getting income. It takes a miracle to become a John Green or Veronica Roth.
Back to my point... I blush like people are singing 'Happy Birthday' to me when people bring up my book, because it's like... what are you supposed to do? Smile like an idiot and give short answers or go on a rant about how amazing it is and turn the opportunity into a marketing situation. My mom is always telling me to tell them to "go read it". Maybe that is the correct answer, but I'm so unused to the attention that it feels somewhat uncomfortable.
My advice is this- Love your work, be proud of what you've done that few can do. If you're a good speaker, then great! Rock that! If you love the attention, then great! Soak it in! But remember (This is the key guys), always remember to stay humble. Know that you are still human. Know that only a few months or years before no one cared what you did with your time. Just because you get "big", does not mean you have to act the part. Keep being you even when people make you feel special. Return the favor. No one is famous without their fans and no one is famous when they treat those fans with distaste.
That one bit of advice will take you farther than you could ever imagine.

Braggers end up Baggers ;)

-With Love, SKW

Things and Thoughts

I am 65,000 words into my second book or, more accurately, my third. It's an adventure. Honestly, I call this trilogy my "learning trilogy". They aren't the best, but they aren't the worst and when I'm done with it I hope to have progressed into a potentially great author. This is actually a lesson for all of those who want to be an author. Know that your first book or even the second or third books are your "learning books". You're learning how to write better. You're getting practice. You're learning the publishing industry. That's why I don't just drop this series, because I DO want to get better and I DO want to learn as much as I can. Sometimes it is about failure. You learn more through failure than success.
Most days, I have come to look forward to certain events that I have written on my calendar. Life here isn't too exciting so I usually look forward to things that are out of the normal. For instance in June I will be on a plane to the UK (I honestly hate planes. They scare me to no end). While I'm there I plan to get a lot of setting ideas and maybe even a brand new plot idea from the history or sights I'll see. There is inspiration every where my friends, you must first open your eyes and to see them. People inspire ideas for characters. Small towns and large cities inspire ideas for settings. Your curiosity inspires a story.
My journey as an author, I can already tell, is going to be a long one with many struggles. But I don't mind. Sure, rejection hurts. Rejection from publishing houses hurts. Rejection from agents hurts. Rejection from OTHER authors hurts. But from each rejection, you become a step closer towards being accepted. One time this author who survived a horrible disease and was so grateful to be alive and be an author rejected me. I couldn't understand how authors who started from nothing such as me, can so easily forget that they used to be the ones begging for a chance. I don't ask them for their fame or anything. I just wanted a review or ADVICE. Yeah... starting off is the hard part. But just think of the rights that YOU"LL get when you make it. You'll get to look into a camera one day and tell everyone how no one wanted your work and now you're a New York Times Best Selling Author. Is that worth the rejection? I believe it is. One day all of our early struggles will pay off and when that day comes we won't forget where we stood when we were the "little guys".

Remember where you came from
Even if you get where you're going

-With Love, SKW

The Hump Days

  Some of you know me, but most of you don't. So allow me to fill you in.
  Being a teenager in this day and age is harder than any of the past. Most teens now have some form of mental illness, because of all of the expectation and pressure to be absolutely perfect. I know I am not the perfect example of this, but every one of us has our Hump Days, where we are at our highest and fall to our lowest.
  My struggle isn't TOO MUCH emotion. It is a lack there of. People want excitement and sadness. I can't give it to them. I find no point in brushing off your sadness or anger on others. I am the only one who can fix me and therefore, I write my emotions down to myself. It's a struggle for me. I want to be a writer, but you need to personify the emotion. It's easier on paper, but I have lost many friends because of how I act. That is my struggle.
  I wanted to share this with you, because everyone has their struggles and their Hump Days. Recognize them in yourself and you will be spared the tired reruns coming from other people. You are you're own person and you struggle with your own situations. Do not let people control who you are or dictate where you want to be in life. Everyone one has the power to help themselves, but even then, sometimes we ourselves need an extra hand.
  No one will ever be perfect. Not now. Not ever. But you have control over what you are self-conscious about and how much your struggles will dictate your life.
  Take a breath and breathe. Remember that life is a game. If something gets taken, the game goes on and gives you chances for something bigger. Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your goals. Somethings are important and others can be put to the side. Don't drown darlings.
  Take a breath.
  Breathe.
  And dive in deeper.
  There's no need to float if what you're searching for is treasure.

  With Love, SKW